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Always in our Hearts

Fri, 25 May 2012 23:55:48 GMT

This week 8 years ago our hearts broke. They say time heals all wounds, but some wounds are so deep that they never really do heal. He is always in our hearts and will NEVER be forgotten.

Pop we love you. Miss you, and will treasure the memories we shared.

A Reflection

Wed, 09 May 2012 15:46:29 GMT

I always see people taking photos of themselves in mirrors or of themselves and wonder why, and then it hits me. Sometimes we like to look back at ourselves. It's sort of a record. They say an image is worth a thousand words, so on my birthday I took the one above. The picture was a quick snapshot. I kind of felt very self conscious about it, but I figured I try and see what develops.

I played around with it on a photo editor and gave it a film like type image, but that's about it. I noticed I wasn't smiling, but maybe it was due to me knowing I'd post it later, and I sometimes feel uncomfortable being the subject. Guess that's why I like being behind the camera. Though I am relaxed when I'm with the family, so maybe it's just a self conscious thing.

Any how the picture is a record of how I looked at a particular time. Maybe I'll look back at the photo when I'm older and think other thoughts.

So Hey all. One traveler saying hi to anyone out there! :-)

Day 17,532

Tue, 01 May 2012 16:42:28 GMT

The Internet is always an amazing thing. I figured out how many days I've been on this planet but of course did not account for leap years, and that extra day of the year. There's an actual web site that let's you do this. How weird.

There's always a time when one reflects back on ones life. I guess we all do it. I look at my children and see how they've grown and it really puts things in perspective.

It was a good day.

My son's Lego world!

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:33:19 GMT

My oldest put together some Lego, and he wanted to show it to his mom mom, so here it is.

The brawl

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:32:30 GMT

This is a video the boys did on their own. I just helped with editing it, and there wasn't much of that.

The boys likes Bakugan, and they seem to get into it at times. I can't say I know it all too well, but I do get how the game is played.

Most of you will be bored by this, but I wanted to post it for the boys. They were excited to get posted to YouTube, and when you think of it it is kind of cool. Lots of other children post stuff that they create and like. There's a whole sub-culture of Bakugan, and it seems harmless. Maybe they'll meet other brawlers out there and begin corresponding. As my dad said the world is a BIG place. Be a world citizen, and not just limit yourself to your own four walls.

Any way this is for their mum mum.

Spingtime

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 00:22:07 GMT

Me and the boys outside with their bikes

Easy Rider!

Speed Racer!

Brothers!

"If you don't look around once in awhile it may just pass you by". Thanks Ferris ;-)

Sisters

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 16:25:27 GMT

Phyllis_bday2008-8h, a photo by KGB64 on Flickr.

Here are two of my favorite people in the world. Their fun, good-looking, smart, and just a delight to be around.

Hey and their family to boot. Love you guys and miss you. Hope to see you soon.

No more babies!

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:51:46 GMT

So our youngest is no longer ina car seat. He was SO happy to have us toss it out. As Phyllis said no more babies. So another milestone reached. He is very happy and he is having a GOOD day today. Over the weekend we went to the Franklin Institute for Kyle's birthday. The boys had a lot of fun.

All all in all a good week-end.

The wheel keeps spinning...

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 03:46:50 GMT

They're never to big to hug

Indoor soccer

As Time goes by...

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 18:04:05 GMT

Where does the time go? One day your changing diapers, then your watching them walk, and then you're talking to them about the movie you just watched. Soon our youngest will be eight, and all I can say is where did the time go?

The more they grow the more entangled I'm in their lives. I want so much for our boys. Every parent wants the best for their children, and at times nothing else seems important. Maybe it's a bit selfish, but sometimes it's down right scary. With all that is in the world one worries for them. To protect them forever is what you want to do, but you know that you can't do that. All you can do is provide them with a solid foundation of values, and hope that they can build on that.

But right now all I want to do is watch them and laugh with them.

Celebration!

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:40:46 GMT

It was a birthday celebration at Chuckie Cheeses! I don't know who had more fun the boys or grandma. Needless to say it was a FUN filled day. There was pizza and cake, and all those goodies.

I try each time to burn this into my memory so I'll always have it and I can smile and look back at what fun we had. Three of our big boy's friends came, and they had a GREAT time.

Ten years ago!

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:45:16 GMT

Ten years ago we were waiting for this guy above. Our beloved Kristopher. It was an anxious time in my wife and I's life. To say the least things were upside down would be an understatement. It wasn't an easy pregnancy. But little did we know that 7 days from now he would come. Of course he took his time, and it felt like forever. From the sound of the heart monitor to the final crying of our little boy those days were filled with emotions.

He was and is a gift. A sometimes challenging gift, but no doubt a gift. I cannot imagine my life without our boys. I at the time would never have thought that I would have two boys, but two years later Kyle joined us, and life has been one adventure after another.

Our little boy isn't so little anymore, and he he's pretty smart. He has his moments, but he's amazing and I love him so. I thank him for showing me how it is to be young again, and how wonderful the world can truly be.

This week will be filled with emotion. A mother who celebrates her 85th birthday, and a boy who is in his double digits now. Two extremes and two very unique individuals who I adore and love so much.

It's time to celebrate.

The America I knew

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 13:22:14 GMT

It seems lately that I"ve been wondering where the America I grew up in went. Some say it's still here and that I've become too jaded to see the opportunities that America has. Maybe that's so, but I really feel that we've lost step with the America I knew. An America where I played outside and didn't worry about stray bullets, deviant psychopaths, and totalitarian politicians. Maybe its the Internet or is it cable, or maybe the 24 hour news cycle that has me looking over my shoulder for the next catastrophe to hit. I really don't know, but I do know that my America of the past is gone and the America which is in front of me bares no resemblance to the one I grew up in.

All generations seems to say that, but the generation of my children will certainly not know things or enjoy the pleasures that I once had, and that seems sad to me. Our government doesn't seems to be about and for the people anymore. Instead they are more interested in bad business, or how they (the politicians) can line their own pockets instead of providing a safe and nurturing environment for its citizens. Maybe they never did, but it seems that in the past there was more accountability then there is now. Cutting budgets for education, transportation, municipalities that impact police, fire, and sanitation seem short sighted. Services get cut we suffer and what do the politicians do? Vote for pay raises for themselves. Can someone say that something is defiantly wrong, and all the politicians can say is that we did this to ourselves, and cuts are necessary.

But weren't they in charge. Didn't we put them there to help govern our Republic? Did they not see what was coming? Should they have seen it? Did they not listen? After all don't we all try to put away something for rainy days? Why didn't they? Seems Germany did and they are doing a lot better then we're doing, so why didn't our politicians do the hard thing and govern.

I'll tell you why. It's the rhetoric. Parties are too steeped in their own ideology that they don't want to do the heavy lifting for the good of the country. Instead they are too busy lining their own pockets, and this happens when you put money above its citizens.

But WE have to bear some responsibility too. The commercials all selling us the American dream. Everyone wants a house, and nice things. But we don't want to work for it. Instead why buy it when I can pay with it on credit. We were sold a bill of goods that had an expiration date. Republicans touted it as the American dream, and the Democrats went along with it as long as everyone was making money and everyone was happy. But the thing is not all were happy.

I remember the 80's. Everyone says what a great decade it was, and I wonder if it was the same one I lived through. I remember the budget cuts, and the struggle of trying to get through college. I remember the homeless where they slept on steam grates, and you had to sometimes walk over them just to get by. I remember leaving my loose change with them as they pan handled. Yes I know some people would say that they (the homeless) were drug addicts and that they deserved what they got, or that they were responsible for their own plight, but all I can say is that no one deserves to live like that. We slowly began to think that this was the new normal. Good old Uncle Reagan wouldn't steer us wrong. Right?

It was in the 80's for me that things went sideways. What's happening now is that the chickens are coming home to roast, and the politicians shrug their shoulders because they got there's and we certainly got OURS!

Maybe I'm just too much of a cynic now. My idealism is clouded by the reality of what I've seen. The good don't get rewarded, and the evil do get away with it. I can't say my idealism is all gone yet. After all I have children and I have to hope that their future will be brighter then the past we had or the present we are living in. Maybe that's why I like hanging out with younger folks. They see things that I don't see sometimes, and I do get a sort of enthusiasm from them. So to say that the future is all bleak is something I don't want to subscribe to. The alternative seems almost too dismal.

My father was a very pessimistic, but his past was shaped by the horrors of war, and he saw a lot of the ugly side of life. Yet he found my mom, and they married, and had me. Just that act alone says volumes about my dad. He wasn't a victim of his past. He hoped for a better future even though he saw things that would confirm his belief in bad human behavior.

Judge a man by his actions and not his words, and you'll see the true soul of that person. I remember arguing with my dad about America and how wonderful it was. I was his American born boy who could see no wrong in what America was doing. Little did I know those discussions would form the bases of my own beliefs in my later life. Hindsight is 20/20 and if we knew then what we know now it would all come into better perspective for us, but we don't.

What's the point of all this? Well I guess the thing can be said that the more things change the less they actually do. I've come full circle, and know now why my dad thought they way he did. I have a better understanding of my dad and because of my experiences I now share some of the ideas and beliefs that my father had. All because of the discussions we had and the arguments we would have over dinner. Maybe that's the catch or the rub. Good, bad or indifferent you are the sum of your experiences, and till you walk in someone else's shoes one cannot judge that person.

People and places change. It's the only thing that we can count on in life. I just wish my relationship with my father were less of an antagonistic one. I would have loved to know so much more from him, and because of my arrogance and my youth I never understood the man. Only now do I fully get the man, and I want so much to say I'm sorry. Sorry for the yelling, sorry for the arguments, sorry for my narrow point of view.

All I can do is to NEVER make those mistakes like I did with my father, and be a better father now to my children.

For teaching me that dad I'm eternally grateful. I am grateful for a lot of things that my dad taught me. I still miss you, and love you always. See you in my dreams dad.

Doing time here on planet Earth

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 14:39:05 GMT

Aren't we all doing time here. We pass the time in a myriad of different ways, yet it all comes down to how and what we do here on planet Earth. Some seem to know what they want and go after it while others may not have a clue. Eventually life does what it does, and we inadvertently follow the path that we choose or is chosen for us.

I find myself contemplating the many different scenerios that life can deal out. At first this journal was something I wanted to voice my sentiments on cinema, and movies. Eventually I started another blog for that, and through that I've met many different people I would never have met. Kindred spirits of sorts, and in a way the world didn't seem all that empty knowing that there are others who dream in celluloid dreams.

This journal then became more of a personal type journal where I can share my opinions on politics, life, family, and other things. But the thing is this journal isn't private. It's a shared thing. It's always been hard for me to get really personal here, but sometimes I do. I share photos here since I know my mother-in-law comes here and looks at it. Here you can see my boys get older, and my family grow and contract. All personal stuff, but none more then if you were traveling down a public road, So I've always been perplexed at how to write here, and what to show. I do know that other journals where people do share their intimate thoughts are very much more compelling, and in some way more human. Writing about illness, family, love, joy, and sorrow are all compelling reads. In a way it feeds the gossip gene. We are all curious about one another, and that's a good thing. Taken to extreme it isn't of course, but here many people do share. As they share their humanity we see a bit of ourselves in their behavior, and we somehow become a bit closer to one another. In my opinion that's the best thing we all could do. I believe and have always believed that each of us has a story to tell. Yet the story is on-going, and continues and has no beginning or end. It is the condition of the human spirit. We all want to reach out to others and connect. The media only reports on when things go wrong and criminal behavior happens. After all it sells newspapers or commercial time on the network. But what of all the stories that have no dramatic scenerios? Aren't they all part of the tapestry of life? To put it in cinematic terms, and you know that was coming with me being a cine-file of sorts. Hitchcock said movies are like life with the boring parts cut out of them, I sometimes find the boring parts the most dramatic, and hence all here have a story to tell.

Found this one day on my many walks in NY.

La Familia

Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:13:42 GMT

Being an only child I've come to value family. As I get older it becomes more and more important. I miss the ones not here anymore, and to those who say time heals all wounds I say BULL%$#@! What time does is make the heart long for those who have gone from our lives. We hear echos of them, and treasure our memories with them.

Here we made more memories that will last us a lifetime. I love them always & forever.

Our Family!

One of the best ladies in the world!

Mother & daughter.

A Grandma's love!

Joy

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:13:44 GMT

17 years ago we got married. It seems like yesterday. Love you babe!!!!

halloween must not be that far away!

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 23:45:39 GMT

The boys struding their stuff. Hmmm! must be Halloween soon.

Darth & Drago together again.

911- And what it meant for me

Sun, 11 Sep 2011 23:23:46 GMT

The above photo was taken awhile back by me on one of my many excursions in NYC. I feel in love with the area of lower Manhattan when I was in my last year in high school. It was there that I would intern for a small little company at the time called CNN. I was given the opportunity to intern at CNN while still in high school, and it changed me, and my perception of life forever.

At that time the NYC headquarters for CNN was at one world trade center. CNN was at the very bottom level of the trade center, and people could look into CNN's studios as we did the noon news, and the market watch around 4:15 or 4:30PM. We also did some inserts in the AM show which was coming out from Atlanta. Mary Alice Williams was the anchor of the show back then and on the first day I got in trouble for running the teleprompter too fast. But the next day she complimented me and gave me the thumbs up. It was a trial by fire, and I was one of the youngest interns there.

Most of the interns were of college age, and came from New Jersey. But I learned quickly, and we became a good team. There were days I didn't want to go back home. I had become a news junkie, and loved the atmosphere, and the camaraderie of the place. Mr. Cassidy who was the head engineer there was my supervisor. He really gave me a lot of stuff to do. I loved being on the floor of the news room. Doing camera, or floor manager. I met some really great people back then. I remember meeting Bella Abzug, and she was being interviewed via satellite from Atlanta. She was a great guest, and she made an impression on me that resonates today. I even met Eartha Kitt too, and feel in love with her. She is one of the most attractive ladies I had ever seen, and she was so kind to me. Even Henry Kissinger came in and I remember what a presence he had on the whole studio.

It was here that I began my love affair with lower Manhattan, and the twin towers. I remeber the newsstand below the tower that carried every magazine in the world, or it certainly seemed like it. Before this thing the internet came along people like myself got information from obscure magazines that your local news stand didn't carry. It was through these magazines that I feel in love with the cinema, and learned everything I could about it. I believe the man there was arabic, and his name was Mohammad, but he always would smile when I came in about once or twice a month for my magazine fix.

At lunch time workers from all the office buildings would go out for lunch. There were hot dog carts, sandwich trucks everywhere. If it was a good day people would be eating outside and talking. men would watch the women, and women would look at the men. You could always know that spring was in the air when skirts got shorter, and men rolled up their sleeves and took their jackets off.

This is how I feel in love with NYC, and to this day I still am no matter where I am. I think of the people we lost that day and it makes me sad. Again the Towers reminds me of what once was, and how very important family, and friends are. I also remember that young teenager who got excited and saw a BIGGER world then his own Queens neighborhood. It was that year in the fall that I entered college and began to pursue my love for the cinema.

A lot has changed, and yet remembering those years makes me smile. It's how a kid became a young adult, and it's how I always want to remember the twin towers. A place where re-birth, and transition took place and to this day still is.

God bless the men and women in uniform, and God bless those who lost their lives that day. You will never be forgotten.

Back to School

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 12:50:06 GMT

It's that day again, and another year. It seemed a bit confusing on the first day. The rain was beginning, and parents and kids were all about. There must be another way to do this better.

I hope this will be a good day for the boys.

After the Storm

Sun, 28 Aug 2011 21:44:41 GMT

After the storm we had a yellow rose that had opened during the storm. It was one of the roses my wife planted. It had bloomed once before, but it did so again, and it's kind of interesting to note that my wife's dad loved yellow roses. While talking to her mom who is in NYC she too also had a yellow rose bloom in her garden. She took it inside during the storm. The more I think the more I realize that there are things that we cannot explain. Coincidence you say? Maybe, but it's happened a second time now, and I'd like to think that Poppie is saying something to us. It's times like this that I really do miss him. But he is not far from our thoughts.

The storm was wet. We lost power for some time overnight, but it came on early this AM. And like everything after the storm there is something new learned.

We all have our storms we go through. Each one is different and significant to us. We sometimes seek shelter in the storm through family, loved ones, and significant others. In time the storm passes, and we move on. Sometimes a bit more scared then we were before, because we have weathered the storm, and know its effects. We are stronger and more confident in our purpose, so we move on.

Maybe I'm taking this storm analogy to literal, but sometimes if you pay attention and listen we can hear what our heart is saying. Here's hoping you weather your storm.

Stuff this week

Sat, 27 Aug 2011 03:52:09 GMT

I haven't posted anything here except a few pictures, and to think this started out as a film blog, but now it's my own what-ever blog I guess.

Let's recap. We had a slight earthquake Tuesday, and now were going to have a hurricane. Her name is Irene. Well I've heard a lot of bad things about Irene, but she's not at all that bad.

She's my mom!

We're all getting a BIG kick about Irene being bad. This is not to say that I am not worried about my NY city friends and relatives. I hope it does less then what they say. NY has been over built these past few years, and I'm afraid any storm will affect many people, but that's because of Bloomie the mayor. Him and building developers seem set to ruin NYC, and make it one BIG developmental mess. But that's anther story for another time.

Changes are happening here at the homestead. It's rough out there, and this week has proven it. Mother nature seems to be telling us something. Maybe we need to listen. I'm not a very religious person, but I do believe in God, so I see things and wonder.

But hey why get so serious. I just wish the news would stop calling Irene a monster, and all those bad things. Because seriously Irene means peace in Greek I believe. So I'm hoping that all will be alright this week-end. Let's all hope for the best.

Sweets & Treats!

Sun, 21 Aug 2011 23:46:49 GMT

The boys made some treats with mom

They did the decorating too.

Best of all they got to eat them too. Yummmm!

Jack

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 01:29:11 GMT

Today we had to make a hard decision.

Jack came into our lives 17 years ago when my wife and I were first married. He was our baby. He feel asleep in my wife's arms at the shelter, and it was fate that he became part of the family

His last days we tried to bring him back, but it was his heart, and he broke our hearts when we had to say good-bye. My mouser, my springy kitty cat was the best. He loved all his brothers and sisters, and he loved our boys. Cuddling up to him was a favorite pastime and he takes a piece of our hearts with him.

I hope there is a heaven, and that someday we will see all those who we loved. Some say animals have no soul, but I say they do. More purer then even ours his was.

Good-bye friend. The pain is deep, and he will be forever missed. Say I love you to someone special, watch a sunset with your furry friend, and love them for the happiness they bring to our lives.

Jack we love you forever & ever.

Boys make Honor Role again

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 02:23:13 GMT

Our youngest does it again! Way to go buddy!

Our oldest does it again & gets year round award for being on the Honor role. Super!

Rock on!!!!

Olympic Day!

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 03:18:54 GMT

The boys had fun today at school. It was Olympic Day, and the students competed. Our youngest one's class won 1st Place, and our oldest one won second place in their competition. Not bad.

Here's My oldest teacher receiving their second class trophy. It was a good day.